All or Nothing: A Brief Biography of Sr. Clare Crockett
Sr. Kristen Gardner SHM
EUK Mamie Foundation
March 2022
205 Pages
ISBN: 978-84-09-39687-0
The story of Sr. Clare Crockett is great news for our generation. How does a Derry girl, deeply immersed in the party scene, who wants to be an actor, become instead the beloved teacher and friend to the poorest of the poor as a nun in South America? Clare’s story is beautifully told in this book by someone who has a deep understanding of the challenges which Clare had to face.
Born in Derry in 1982, Clare was lively, bubbly, and good company in her school days. She was so skilled at imitating her secondary school teachers that she could make those students who were having a secret smoke jump in fright. She was very talented and outgoing. Her dream of becoming “a famous actor” seemed to be very achievable. However, things took a different turn. In the year 2000, Sharon, a friend of hers, had booked to go on a Holy Week retreat in Spain. When Sharon took ill, she rang Clare and said, “Clare, do you want to go to Spain? It’s all paid for.” Clare, contemplating partying in Spain, jumped at the opportunity. When later she discovered that it was a retreat, so as not to be rude to her friend, she reluctantly agreed to travel anyway.
She was not practising her faith at the time and did not see any reason for going to Mass. However, during the retreat, on Good Friday, she kissed the Cross as the others were doing. This simple act had a profound effect on her, as Clare herself explained:
“I experienced the certainty that the Lord was on the Cross for me…. I had to do something for Him who had given His life for me.”
Following this experience, Clare struggled with her own doubts and with her ability to face a new horizon which was opening up in front of her. On her return home, she drifted back into the excesses of the disco scene. She felt that the Good Shepherd followed her there and that He was saying to her with love: “Why do you keep hurting me?”
About this time Clare was offered her first film role. She flew to England, where she was met by a chauffeur and surrounded by all the trappings of the film industry. This is what she had dreamed about for years. But instead of being happy, she now felt totally disappointed and empty. In that darkness she made a firm decision that she would follow the path that God wanted for her; she would join a religious order. She was also greatly encouraged by the words of wise pastors whom she encountered.
Clare’s family and friends were shocked when they discovered that she was going to join the Servant Sisters of the Home of the Mother. Of all their friends, she was the last person they would have expected to be taking that route. As Clare herself said, “Nobody could believe that God would call a girl like me.” It was particularly difficult for her parents. Her departure for Spain was heart-breaking for all. As soon as he could, her father Gerard came to visit her. He was delighted to find her radiantly happy, and he brought the good news home to her mother and siblings. About that time Clare received an offer of a major part in an upcoming film, but that offer was firmly rejected.
The Servant Sisters in Spain gave her a warm welcome. In August 2001 she began her studies and formation with determination and good humour. She was even able to make jokes in her efforts to learn Spanish. At every step of the way—candidate, novice, and sister—she was supported and guided by the community. The founder of the order, Fr. Rafael Feymundo, was particularly helpful to her. He understood the challenges and joys of her journey.
Her first assignment as a professed sister was to a house in Spain which supported girls from difficult family situations. With patience and understanding, she helped and encouraged many troubled hearts. Her good humour and hearty laughter helped to break down barriers to communication. In her spiritual life she was becoming more and more aware of God’s personal love for her. She wanted young people to come to the realisation of how much they were personally loved.
Fr. Rafael asked Clare and three other sisters to start a new community in Florida. She was a joyful and enthusiastic teacher for the children who were assigned to her there. She wrote in her notes at that time: “In order to give God to others … I have to be full of Him.”
When she realised that her strong Derry accent was a hindrance, she used her skill at imitation to speak like the local Americans. Her classes were well prepared and far from boring. She made puppets who, using different voices, told Bible stories or how to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. She wanted the young people to avoid the mistakes she had made in her own life. She was able to tell them: “I had all that was out there, but it didn’t give me real peace.”
In May 2010 Sr. Clare made a visit back to Ireland. For many of her relations and friends, it was the first time they had seen her since she left for Spain. They were deeply impressed with her joy and happiness. One of her cousins put it this way “Clare, I knew you before you became a nun, and now when I see you, I can only say that either you are crazy or God really exists.”
Having made her final profession of vows in 2010, Sr. Clare was assigned to working in hospitals and schools in Spain. She had the ability to give her total attention to particular patients who were going through difficult times. Time and time again, she succeeded in bringing light back into the lives of those who were living in deep darkness. She learnt to play the guitar in her spare time and used her newly acquired skill to bring the smile back to frowning faces. She encouraged patients to come and join her for music and songs. One particular patient, who was always grumpy and giving out to the nurses, ended up playing the guitar with her. There was also a patient in the final stages of AIDS called “Paco.” His body bore the wounds of his disease. He was silent and depressed. The most frequent word he spoke was “No”. Clare invested time in talking and listening to him. She gave him water to drink and helped him with his food, at a time when many feared to approach him. When she got the opportunity, she assured him that God loved him exactly as he was. Eventually the ice broke; “Paco” went to Confession after a 24-year absence and received the Anointing of the Sick. When Clare visited him again, he was talking and radiant with happiness. There are many other stories like this.
Only her close friends knew that at times she suffered from migraine and tough spiritual battles. Her notebooks give us little glimpses: “When I am working for Him I don’t waste time thinking about myself.” “Thank You for Your strong and constant call to be joyful and high-spirited, even when it requires an effort.”
In October 2012, Clare was sent to Ecuador as a missionary. She quickly adapted to the new environment and learnt about the local customs. Clare first taught in a school which is located in the poorest part of the city of Guayaquil. A missionary had founded the school in order to give basic education to the more than 1,000 children who lived there in extreme poverty. The children looked forward to Clare’s lively classes which began with a song and a prayer. She used her breaks to talk with the children and listen to them. There was very little air-conditioning. She would often use the “rascals” in the class to be her helpers. There were thirty or forty children in her class, and all their faces would light up when they caught sight of “Hermanita Clare” (Sister Clare). She organised and wrote the script for a weekly hour-long radio programme. Talks were given on the saints and apologetics, and questions were answered. She said, “We have to teach these children to dream.” Their preparation for First Holy Communion included stories about Eucharistic miracles and an introduction to Adoration. She would say: “If they have come to know Jesus, they will come back.”
In 2014 she was appointed to a school in a nearby town, called Playa Prieta. She was to teach English to children of all ages. She also had the senior classes for religion. These were her “chickens,” and she was the “mother hen,” who watched out for each of them. She prepared her classes well, so that they would be interesting, inspiring, and lively. The guitar was never too far away. This was to be her final appointment. She wanted the best for every student. She wrote at that time: “It doesn’t matter how I feel. It doesn’t matter if I am tired… I have to give myself always, with joy and enthusiasm.” And indeed, she was greatly loved by the students because of her good humour and her sincere care for their well-being.
In April 2016, as a result of “El Nino” and torrential rain, the town of Playa Prieta was flooded. Clare and a companion had to be helped to safety after being knocked over by the torrent. All the school classrooms were damaged by the water and mud. For the next week, the sisters worked hard but joyfully as they tried to get everything ready for the reopening of the school. They sang and joked at their task. A sister who had come to help from another convent was amazed to see Clare so joyful and “beautiful” after so much hard work. On the evening of 16th April, Clare was playing a song called “All the People Said Amen”; she and her companions were singing out, “Give thanks to the Lord, for His love never ends…”
The earthquake struck at 6.58 p.m.. Clare and five of her companions were killed. She was 33 years of age.
Sr. Clare’s remains were brought back to her native Derry. While her family and friends were heartbroken, they were also very proud of all that she had achieved in the previous 15 years. In her last phone call home she had said very tenderly, “I love you, Mammy…you know that, right?” The attendance at her funeral on 2nd May included three bishops. There have already been many, many reports of favours attributed to the intercession and inspiration of the Servant of God, Sr. Clare Crockett.
The author of this book, Sr. Kristen Gardner, was a friend of Clare’s. She has given us a well-researched and very readable account of her life. It is well worth reading. One can envisage that the girl from Derry will be an inspiration for many people, old and young. As they say in show business: “Watch this space.”