Work and Family Life

One of the greatest privileges in life is being a stay home mother of a large family. Being a stay at home mother is one of the best gifts a mother can possess and at the same time the greatest gift she can give to her family. What is of even greater importance is the gift of faith God has given us as mothers and the adequate time to teach our children the faith and to pray for them every day.

I have always admired stay home mothers who work professionally as home makers. Spiritually, it took me a long time to realise that the devil does not understand nor like anyone who sacrifices their life for others. A stay home mother falls in this category because she does not seek anything for herself. She seeks no glory for herself. She renders many little acts of service daily to her family without expecting anything in return. She gives her talents and time to her family, seeking their happiness and comfort. Many married women have at one time or other dedicated their time as stay home mothers, some for a short period and others for longer periods of time.

St. John Paul II realized that society today compelled women to work formally outside the home. Those who choose to stay at home to take care of the children were made to feel guilty and worthless. He commented on this issue by stating that, “It is a disservice not only to children, but also to women and society itself when a woman is made to feel guilty for wanting to remain in the home and nurture and care for her children. It is also necessary to counter that misconception that the role of motherhood is oppressive to women and that a commitment to her family, particularly to her children, prevents a woman from reaching personal fulfilment and from having an influence in society. No response to women’s issues can ignore a woman’s role in the family or take lightly the fact that every new life is entrusted to the protection and care of the woman carrying it in her womb.”

I work at home doing household tasks professionally. It involves doing laundry, cooking, cleaning and numerous tasks that make my home a bright and cheerful home. In my free time I also write and illustrate Christian books for children. The most important task is being there for my husband and teaching my children and listening to them. But all this would not be possible without my husband. He works tirelessly to provide for our family. The cost of living in Nairobi is high as is taxation in Kenya. It is not easy providing for a family of ten. St. Josemaria taught us that we cannot out do God in generosity. This observation is true, God has always provided for us and has never let us down. But it is important to note that there is just enough and not extra for splashing around. We have learnt how to live within our own means.

When I attended my first spiritual retreat at Tigoni Study Centre, my life was transformed. I had always believed that God had created us to live “goodish” lives and that was a guarantee to heaven. My limited catechism of the Catholic Church had overlooked that BIG aspect of fulfilling the plan or mission for which God had created me. It never occurred to me that I was His and I was supposed to serve God, doing His Holy Will. After many classes of doctrine, chats, spiritual direction, confession, prayers, circles, recollections and retreats, it has become clearer to me how important a mother’s role is in God’s eyes.

Saint Josemaría challenged us to become saints in the middle of the world. It was only after an intimate and personal encounter with God, that I realized that God wanted more from me. I had the responsibility of praying for my family, having Holy Masses offered up for them so that we would eventually be united with God in Heaven when we died. This was my ultimate turning point and I dedicated my life to doing God’s Will.

As married couple, my husband and I dedicated ourselves to God. We prayed together and went together for Holy Mass often. He always insisted we should sit together as a sign of unity. We accepted the gift of children God choose to send to us as promised in our marriage vows. God blessed us with four daughters and four sons. They are now between the ages of six and twenty-two. Because we had a big family, we decided that there would be periods when I would stay at home to take care of the family. It is a beautiful and unnoticed way of life.

I began to see that there is more than meets the eye about being a stay home mother. She has our Mother Mary as her role model. Just as Mary dedicated her life to serving Jesus and Joseph, she too dedicates her life to serving her family. It should be noted that Mary is the greatest of all saints. St Josemaría Escrivá said, “The attention she gives to her family will always be a woman’s greatest dignity.”

It is not possible to become a stay home mother without putting Christ as the centre of my life. Because by doing this, the essence of why God created me became clearer. My deepest fulfilment is doing God’s will. This can be measured by the peace and joy in our hearts. The saint continues, “Certainly there will always be many women whose only task is to run their home. This is a wonderful job which is very worthwhile.” It is a professional job that greatly influences society. As a mother of eight, I have the responsibility to ensure I bring up responsible and God fearing citizens for society and for heaven.